


Both sides

by Meelah



Category: Gundam 00
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Consensual Violence, Consent Issues, Deepthroating, Dom/sub, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-11
Updated: 2009-03-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:04:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4976497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meelah/pseuds/Meelah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy's life with Mister Bushido and Graham Aker. Please check the tags before reading.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Both sides

**Author's Note:**

> Importing some of my older works from LJ. Original work is [here](http://sensitivefish.livejournal.com/3070.html).

Sometimes the blond man sleeping in Billy's bed wakes up screaming and drenched in sweat. 

It's dark and Graham wants it that way so that Billy can't see him, and Billy presses him down on the bed and holds him until he stops shaking... Though sometimes he doesn't, but keeps repeating the names of all of those who've passed on, and then Billy turns the man on his side and fucks him. 

Sometimes Graham says _no_ and then Billy uses force, holds him down and fucks him hard until Graham is a whimpering mess and they are both out of breath and cum hard. Then Billy holds Graham until the man is breathing peacefully again, and only until then will he let himself drift back to sleep.

Sometimes Graham says _yes yes yes_ and Billy whispers _gundam, gundam_ in his ear and Graham becomes honey in his hands, breathy and submissive and so hard, willing to do anything Billy wishes. If Billy's having a good day he flips Graham to his back and makes love to him slow and sweet and Graham lets him touch and kiss the scars on his face and lets Billy say how beautiful he is. If Billy's having a bad day he doesn't want to see Graham's face and the darkness almost lets him think he's fucking Kujo again, except Graham isn't soft like her and his moans aren't sweet like hers but hoarse, and she never begged like he does.

Outside of the bed Billy isn't allowed to call Graham by his name but he has to pretend they didn't know each other from before, has to pretend the man in the mask isn't his lover. And sometimes he wonders how Graham sees their relationship, how Mister Bushido sees the geeky scientist that is building his own version of a gundam for him - especially when Mister Bushido doesn't come back for days on end. And sometimes Billy drowns himself in his work, in the diagrams and calculations until he can't see straight, his neck has jammed and his bladder is about to burst.

But sometimes Billy lapses and comes back to his apartment and takes comfort in the bottle, just like Kujo used to do back in the day when he didn't know what she was running from. Except this time there's no one to stop him, not in this apartment that is so empty now and sometimes Billy wakes up in a pool of his own vomit and no one else will clean it for him.

Sometimes he wakes up to Mister Bushido shaking him by the collar like a dog shakes a rabbit. Billy fights him but even the man is smaller than him Billy is weak and stupid and blind drunk and can't do anything right. So Mister Bushido spreads Billy on the table and fucks him and it hurts like hell and for few moments the physical pain takes away the booze and Kujo and there's just lust and panting and dull sound of flesh on flesh.

Sometimes it's dark and scary and Billy never talks to Graham about it.

Mister Bushido makes Billy beg for things he didn't know he needed. He's drunk and pathetic and sniveling on his knees in front of the masked man, sucking his toes and balls and licking his ass, and he begs to be spanked like a naughty child. Sometimes Mister Bushido gives him what he asks, sometimes he doesn't - sometimes he takes Billy on his knee and spanks him with his hand until Billy's cheeks are burning bright red and tender and nothing feels better than getting fucked from behind after that. But when Mister Bushido doesn't want to indulge in Billy's requests he makes Billy choke on his cock until Billy's drooling and gagging bile all over himself, he pulls Billy by his hair and calls him a whore and makes him cry like a woman. Fucking after that feels good too and Billy gives control to the man that used be Graham but isn't anymore.

Afterward Billy passes out in the living room or maybe in the shower, but always wakes up in the morning clean in his own bed. Mister Bushido isn't there anymore but Graham sleeps quietly next to him, his golden hair catching the sunlight in a way that makes Billy think of happier times. If it's Sunday he leaves the bed quietly and makes breakfast for Graham and strong coffee for both, and they eat in bed together looking at Billy's latest research results. If it's a work day he just makes coffee and puts it into thermos mugs - then Graham dresses in silence and puts on his mask and leaves, and they never leave at the same time because that's not how it works.

Sun hurts Billy's eyes when he's hungover but he thinks of work again and his life isn't that bad.


End file.
